Malema: I just wanted to feel what it was like to be white

The ANC Youth League says that weekend revelations about Julius Malema’s trust fund were not a surprise to them and that they shouldn’t have come as a surprise to anyone else. “Julius lives according to an ancient Pedi custom which says you shouldn’t judge a man until you have strolled a stretch in his sandals,” said spokesperson Fistful Mdala. “He is just trying to experience what it is like to be white.”

Mdala added that aside from the trust fund, Malema had also acquired a farm so that he could research the pros and cons of land grabs from both sides.

“It might look bad now,” said Mdala, “But this way when Julius puts his arm around the shoulders of a farmer who has just had his land seized by a 20 year old war veteran, and tells him that he knows how it feels, he really will know.”

Mdala said that aside from the trust fund and the farm, Malema had been exploring several other white tendencies that the paper had failed to report.
“Julius also has a maid called Gladys who comes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He hangs out at organic markets on Saturday’s, watches rugby and wears veldskoens. ”

He added that Malema had toyed with the idea of living in a squat in Wimbledon for a while to ensure that he got the complete ‘white experience’ but that in the end he had not been that desperate to get the full experience.
When it was explained that having the Trust Fund was not the issue – that it was rather a case of where the money came from – Mdala said, “Exactly!”

He added, “We have no issue with the privately educated white youth, who take gap years between their gap years instead of calling themselves unemployed and similarly nobody should take issue with future President Malema for being similarly comfortable.

“The problem is with the dads and granddads, who exploited the poor black masses to make their fortunes.”
He said that in this regard the Youth League were delighted that Malema had mimicked the white experience perfectly.
Meanwhile asked to offer an adult opinion on the matter the ANC said that trust funds were standard procedure for high ranking members who were not elected. “It’s why we like being in an alliance with the SACP and COSATU,” said spokesperson Luscious Mpundu.
“For each position one of them fills, there’s another one of us in the queue at Capitec waiting to open a family trust.”

He said it was common knowledge within the ANC that it was far more profitable to operate from an unelected position.
“What good is influence and populist rhetoric if you don’t back it up with a trust fund?” he asked.

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