‘Shoot The Politician’ to be new hit struggle song

A catchy new struggle song, ‘Shoot the politician’, has been hailed by the 20-million South African voters who get nothing in return for their vote. “If ‘Shoot The Boer’ refers to a struggle against a corrupt anti-democratic system rather than being a call for genocide, then MP’s won’t have a problem if we sing ‘Shoot the politician’,” explained a spokesman. “Ain’t democracy a bitch?”

Meanwhile some white farmers have expressed “slight discomfort” at their taxes being used to pay for Julius Malema’s hate speech defence.

“Call us reactionary counterrevolutionaries,” said farmer Ploeg Spoeg-Kroeg, “but doesn’t it strike anyone else as a bit odd that we’re paying lawyers to defend Julius’s right to call for us to be murdered?”

However, most legal experts have agreed that the song ‘Shoot the Boer’ is not a call for actual murder but a call to arms against the repressive apartheid regime, a verdict that has been welcomed by the writers of the new hit struggle song, ‘Shoot the politician’.

“When we sing, ‘Shoot the politician, blow the corrupt thieving complacent racist motherf*cker away’, we’re actually just calling for greater accountability,” explained songwriter Stratocaster Semenya. “Or maybe we aren’t, but that all depends on what the lawyers say. And how much longer our patience holds out.”

He said that references to specific people were also harmlessly metaphorical.

“The second verse goes, ‘Shoot Sicelo Shiceka, shoot him in the ass with buckshot made of diamonds, then rub wasabi paste onto his perforated ass, then shoot him in the ass again, don’t worry, he’s got medical aid’.

“Obviously in this case he is just a metaphor for all the criminally insane MPs who use taxpayers’ money to visit their girlfriends in Swiss jails. So chill. It’s not a threat.

“Or is it?”

This morning politicians from across the political spectrum reacted angrily to the song, saying that freedom of speech was nice in theory but when it “blundered with its grubby peasant clogs through the hallowed members-only halls of Parliament and threatened those who account to nobody but God, their bank managers and Jacob Zuma – in ascending orders – then it has gone too far”.

“You can’t go around calling for people to be shot,” said backbencher Filibuster Zuma. “Unless you’re referring to Boere. Or criminals. Or cockroaches. And by cockroaches we mean of course political opponents, and we mean ‘shoot’ in a metaphorical sense. Sort of, depending on the context.”

hayibo.com