Telecommunications role players say they are optimistic about new telecoms Minister Siphiwe Nyanda's first major policy decision, codenamed Project Tin Cans And String. According to a spokesman the former Defence Minister has already ordered 30-million meters of string from the Rosebank CNA stationery department.
Nyanda is the third Telecommunications Minister in as many months, replacing former Health Minister Manto Tshabalala-Msimang who took over the post after Dr Ivy Matsepe-Casaburri passed away after a long illness.
Tshabalala-Msimang almost passed away after a long illness, but an emergency operation conducted on a granite slab in a lightning storm, during which her bolts were tightened and she was fed four fresh brains, saw her make a full recovery.
The appointment of Nyanda into the crucial Telecoms post came as a surprise, not least to Nyanda, whose areas of expertise include wearing a beret at a rakish angle and disabling telecommunications systems by blowing them up.
He is also not a doctor, unlike his predecessors, although colleagues say he knows where to press behind the knees and left ear to induce indescribable pain.
However, just weeks into his new portfolio the minister says that he and his team are about to revolutionize telecommunications in South Africa with Project Tin Cans And String, and that the stationary department of the Rosebank CNA has already been tasked with sourcing 30-million meters of string.
The project has been hailed by telecommunications monopoly Telkom, with one high-ranking official saying that the concept was "so revolutionary it will make speaking over fibre cables and cellphones look like an anomaly by 2050".
"We've seen it demonstrated and it's incredible," he said. "By simply connecting the aluminium steel handsets with the new organic fibre tubing system, it's like speaking to someone standing right next to you, provided they're standing right next to you."
The Ministry of Telecommunications could not be reached for further comment as the cellphones of all three spokesmen are still missing, having disappeared under mysterious circumstances shortly after the appointment of Dr Tshabalala-Msimang.
However, a clerk at the Ministry said that if the public found any of the phones, or two watches, or a gold-plated 'Best Minister Ever' plaque bequeathed to the late Matsepe-Casaburri by Telkom, they should hand them over at any government office.
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