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The police have (finally) released the new batch of crime statistics. By now, most of us know that murders are down (by 339 cases) and sexual offences are up (by 6696 cases), but beyond that — let's be honest — the numbers get a little vague.

Police Minister Nathi Mthethwa (left) and National Police Commissioner Bheki Cele.

The fact that the Northern Cape had 171 more cases of arson than cases of carjacking (a mere seven), whilst somewhat peculiar, matters little to those who live outside the Northern Cape. The fact that the Western Cape had almost half the nationwide tally of drug-related crimes is, well, interesting. And not just because we're based in the Western Cape...

We've trawled through the numerous tables spewed forth by the government in the hopes of compiling an account of crime that is relevant to you.

Murder: 18 148

Your chances of being murdered are greatest if you live in the Eastern Cape, where the ratio per 100 000 of the population is 49.5. However, KwaZulu-Natal had the highest body count, with 4747 murders. The safest place to be is Limpopo, which only recorded 751 (ratio of 14.2: 100 000) murders. The Western Cape boasted the greatest decrease (17.4 percent) in the number of murders.

Interestingly, there was an almost equal number of attempted murders nationwide (18 298) and distribution followed a fairly similar pattern. Culpable homicide (the unlawful, but also unintentional killing of another) accounted for 12 571 deaths, with the highest number of deaths occurring in Gauteng (2833). However, your chances of dying in an incident of culpable homicide are greatest in Mpumalanga, where the ratio is 37: 100 000.


Assault: 396 615

Assault can be divided into two major categories: assault with the intent to inflict grievous bodily harm (203 777) and common assault (192 838). In the assault with the intent to inflict grievous bodily harm category, Gauteng had the highest tally (47 208) followed by the Eastern Cape (31 428) and KwaZulu-Natal (30 119). Taking populations into account, however, the Northern Cape is the most dangerous place to be (with a crime-to-population ratio almost double that of Gauteng).

Gauteng also tops the list when it comes to common assault (57 711), but it is followed by the Western Cape (31 680). In this category, the Free State is the most likely place for you to become a victim, if you take population size into account.

In both categories of assault, Limpopo emerges as the safest province, with the lowest crime-to-population ratios and a combined tally of 22 974 cases of assault.


Burglaries and robberies: 512 060

For police categorization, there is a difference between a robbery (when someone is at home) and a burglary (when someone isn't).

Residential

Highest number of robberies: Gauteng (8122)
Highest number of burglaries: Gauteng (68 090)

Fewest robberies: Northern Cape (45)
Fewest burglaries: Northern Cape (5416)

Most likely to be robbed in: Gauteng (77.7: 100 000)
Most likely to be burgled in: Western Cape (815.7: 100 000)

Business

Highest number of robberies: Gauteng (6216)
Highest number of burglaries: Gauteng (17 295)

Fewest robberies: Northern Cape (121)
Fewest burglaries: Northern Cape (2058)

Most likely to be robbed in: Gauteng (59.5: 100 000)
Most likely to be burgled in: Western Cape

Not surprisingly, Gauteng also topped the carjacking list with 7626 cases, followed by KwaZulu-Natal (4062). At 698 cases (fifth on the list), the Western Cape's carjacking count was surprisingly low. However, with a mere seven hijackings, the Northern Cape is, on all counts, the safest place to drive your car.

It is not, however, the place where your car is least likely to be stolen (although it reported the fewest stolen vehicles) — that honour goes to Limpopo, where only 20.6 cars are stolen for every 100 000 people. Gauteng, with 38 600 cars reported stolen, is the most likely place for you to be relieved of your transportation.

Street robberies (muggings) followed a similar pattern, with Gauteng (27 853) a good 13 407 attacks ahead of the next province, KwaZulu-Natal (14 446).


Sexual offences: 71 500

Sexual offences have risen by 6696 cases from the previous year. Police have indicated that a possible reason for this is the broadening of the definition of sexual offences. Even if this is the case, the number of reported cases (and it is believed that the unreported cases far exceed this number) is unacceptably high.

As is the case with much of the crime in South Africa, you are most likely to be the victim of a sexual crime if you live in Gauteng, which boasts the highest number of cases (19 106) as well as the highest crime-to-population ratio (182.9: 100 000). The Northern Cape had the fewest reported cases (1907), but you are least likely to be the victim of a sexual crime if you live in Limpopo.

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