Dear President Zuma,
I won’t address you as Father of the Nation because I know you don’t like formalities. I treasure your allowing me to still call you by your Zulu name, Innocent.
For all the years we have passed each other in the passages of power you have always treated me with great respect. Granted, I’ve never been alone in a room with you for more than a minute.
People have come to me in the past few days and said, “Evita, talk to him. Make him realise he is not just a song-and-dance man.”
Of course you’re not. You were a major player in the Struggle against apartheid, and let the world now know that you have been responsible for extraordinary things during the past 30 years. But nothing as extraordinary as your personal collection of beautiful wives.
Liewe aarde, Innocent, what competition are you trying to win here?
How is it possible that a man who is so involved in politics as president of a young democracy that needs as much supervision as a 16-year-old delinquent child finds so much time to share with not just one wife but three?
At what time of day can you get to your office if there are so many wives to kiss goodbye in the morning? And you have to be fair and kiss them all, other¬wise we will sit with a never-ending television series called Desperate First Ladies!
But then, when you should be addressing the problems of poverty, xenophobia, Zimbabwe, presidential pardons - to mention but a few - you spend those moments creating more Zumettes. They say already 20 children from your own loins, and maybe we can add one or two for those slipped out without you noticing ?
Maggies man, carry on like that and you will have your own football teams to win the cup for South Africa in 2018 !
Innocent, I like you. I even respect you. I want you to be the best president we've had since Nelson Mandela decided to hand over the reigns to someone else.
There is no reason for you to fail. You came to power as our third democratically elected leader in spite of a nightmare audition; months of court actions and trials, miles of media blah blah reporting every rumour and gossip. Freedom of speech is sacred in our land and while some of the media went too far and showered you with accusations, don't they have the right ? Is that why today you protect freedom of speech but want terms and conditions to apply ?
You have apologised. I am a bit older than you and yet you make me feel like a school girl at your feet. You smile at me. You laugh at my words. You sing for me and you dance around me. It is captivating. You start to sing. You move into a dance. And when all that is over, the media have forgotten the question.
Of course I have a lot to say but I don't, because I as a white woman have an opinion about the foibles of your government I am called racist and told to shut up or emigrate.
Well, I won't do either ! I will build up enough courage to write you this letter, because it's time we stood up and spoke. Not as whites, not as men and women, but as citizens of a magical country that was given a second chance to make it's dreams come true.
I see some leaders pooh pooh FW de Klerk's celebration of his legendary speech of 2nd February 1990 which lead to the freeing of Nelson Mandela and the unbanning of the ANC and SA Communist party (SACP) and other minor irritations. They say it happened only as a result of the Struggle. My skat, the last thing anyone expected was to be handed the nightmare of a bankrupt blood-soaked South Africa. We gave it to you and now it's yours, Innocent.
I'm on your side Msholozi, If I may use your clan name, I have no problem with your cultural, traditional weapons of marriage. All your ZuMamas are a joy to behold.
I remember seeing them at the opening of parliament last year, when you made your first state-of-the-nation address as president. They were all asleep in the gallery. Thanks to that we know that there are no power hungry Hillary Clintons among them, no overambitious Winnies or scheming Lady Macbeths.
I have no problem with you. I have a problem with what the people see in you. My son De Kock, does aids awareness talks at schools. Recently he was at a school in Soweto, demonstrating safe sex through the use of condoms. After the talk a group of senior learners approached him. They liked his presentation. "But must you go on about condoms ? We know," said one. De Kock said he was pleased that they were informed but there were many others that needed the information. "Why?" asked the other young man "We don't need condoms. We have a shower"
De Kock laughed loudly, as we all would. There was no smiles on the faces of the young men. "Why do you laugh?" the one asked angrily.
"Well" said De Kock, "you refer to Jacob Zuma having a shower after unprotected sex."
"So ? what's funny ? Are you calling our president a liar ?"
De Kock realised there was no joke here.
"Jacob Zuma is our president, We follow by example," was their parting statement.
Innocent, you lead by example, like it or not !
If there is one thing you need to impregnate it is our country. Give us the benefit of your strength, your humour, your wisdom, your compassion and your focus. We need you.
You might say, "Why must I listen to Evita Bezuidenhout ?"
Well if you listen to Julius Malema, I too have a right to your ear. And I passed woodwork at school with a B+.
So, vuk'uzenzele, M-shower-lozi ! Practice what you preach and, please, put your love in a plastic bag.
Sincerely,
Evita Bezuidenhout
From Evita Bezuidenhout a popular SA political playwright.
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