PRETORIA. After months of inactivity and minimal load-shedding, rogue utility company Eskom has come out of hiding to deliver its latest demands.
According to a government spokesman, Eskom called in using a disposable SIM card, demanding R5 billion in unmarked R50 notes and threatening to black out the country again if it saw any police at the drop-off point.
Energy analysts and government investigators say they were just minutes away from locating and pinning down the elusive electricity provider earlier this year, after it kept shutting down the national power grid while providing increasingly unlikely explanations.
But a high-speed car-chase in the badlands around Megawatt Park in March ended in failure as the fleeing Eskom threw a blunt object – Alec Erwin – into the path of pursuers, causing a blowout and ending all hopes of a speedy arrest.
However this morning's call by Eskom has given investigators fresh hope.
According to the spokesman Eskom had sounded "a little older and a little more tired" than since the last time it called in with demands.
"The caller simply said, 'This is Eskom. If you ever want to see your television again, or have sex with the lights on, leave R5 billion in unmarked R50 bills in the boot of a rental car in the parking garage of O.R. Tambo International.'"
Meanwhile bounty hunter Boudewijn Boje says he is surprised to hear from Eskom again.
"When the trail went cold we thought it was all over," he told journalists this morning. "When we went over Alec Erwin, and we looked down and checked his little comb-over sticking out from under the smashed axel, I really thought Eskom had got away with the perfect crime."
He says he can't understand why Eskom would try to wring even more money out of consumers after having "pulled off the heist of the century" in February when Trevor Manuel announced his national budget for the year.
"It was awesome," said Boje.
"You black out the country, demand billions from government to switch the lights back on, and they pay, just like that.
"And nobody asked any questions. Nobody said, 'Wait a sec, china, how come the power is back on? How come we haven't had load-shedding now, in the coldest part of the year, with Koeberg down, and no new power stations built?'
"It was flippin' genius, china.
"They turned an on-off switch into a license to print money. It makes you flippin' proud to be a South African."
Source: www.hayibo.com
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