Fifa has the whole world on a string

Sometimes the papers miss a big story and here is one of them - there has been a bloodless coup in South Africa; the ANC has been ousted by Fifa.

No ma'am, Fifa is not another political party that stands for Fostering Inclinations to Faf Around but is the acronym for the Fédération Internationale de Football Association. Some people write it as FIFA - but this paper doesn't for reasons of in-house style that should not concern us.

Whichever way you wish to portray it, Fifa is an organisation that is bigger than the United Nations, 208 versus 192 in terms of member states. As world football's governing body, it wields far greater influence than the UN and, more importantly, has far greater muscle.

It can, and does, tell governments what to do - and they go off and do it. Without squeezing a trigger or buying a Gripen, it can bring a nation to its knees. What is more, Fifa is able to appeal to the masses, which is more than you can say for the ANC. Indeed, one gets the sense that our government has taken a back seat to Fifa which at least gives our politicians a chance to attend to such domestic challenges as noisome neighbours and exploding banks.

I shudder to think what we would do without Fifa. Just imagine the state we'd be in if it had not awarded us the 2010 World Cup. It's about the only thing that keeps us from sliding into a morass of hopelessness, the only common denominator in the national discourse that has the chance to inspire and motivate. It is, in short, our single hope for a better future.

We do not doubt the importance of 2010 but we may not realise that there is so much at stake for Fifa that it has simply pushed the government aside. This is not unique to us; it probably happened prior to the 2006 World Cup when the German government found itself having to answer to a higher authority which, as you know, is not an easy thing for a German to do.

These football mandarins, however, are not people to trifle with. You want a new airport? You go to Fifa and ask them if it's okay. No they say, your existing airport is fine, so you shelve the plan.

You think you've got enough hotels. Fifa says, hey, you haven't got enough hotels. You better build some, and they should look like this and this and they should be situated here and here. So you go out and start building to those exact specs in those precise locations.

You think your stadium plan is A-ok. Fifa says, hey, what's with this stadium in Port Elizabeth, it's fallen behind schedule? You say, whoa, this is the Nelson Mandela Bay Metro you're talking about and they say tough luck it's just lost its right to host matches in the 2010 dress rehearsal that is the 2009 Confederations Cup. Who knows what else is going on behind the scenes? But whatever it is you can take comfort from it. The best weather vane is Danny Jordaan. As CEO of the 2010 Local Organising Committee he is closer to Fifa than anyone in SA and you can tell by his confident manner we are in good hands.

Talking of that, Fifa is run by a gentleman called Sepp Blatter who started life as a sports journalist. I mean, what more could you ask? Herr Blatter is a tough guy with diplomatic nuances.

Almost two years ago, he remarked that SA "should bring a little bit of fire to the preparations" which is the Swiss way of saying it's time to pull your finger out. The only real resemblance between Fifa and the ANC is that both are non-profit organisations that make millions. The big difference is that while the ANC only has a country to screw up, Fifa has the whole world on a string.