Duarte blames "forces of darkness" for fake posters, public can't tell difference

ANC spokeswoman Jesse Duarte has blamed "the forces of darkness" for fake ANC election posters featuring slogans such as "Justice is the name of my next wife" and "Vote Zuma, a better life for me". However, motorists have failed to notice the hoax, saying that they thought the ANC's "Together we can do more" posters were also a joke.

For Duarte the revelation marks the end of a journey that has seen her rise from a simple beauty queen to the ANC's official witch-hunter, exorcist and black magic consultant.

She first rose to prominence in the 1970s as a Sophia Loren impersonator, finishing fifty-second in the Transvaal Regional Finals of the 1974 La Dolce Vita beauty pageant. Thee were nine contenders.

Speaking to the media this morning from her shaman teepee inside Luthuli House, Duarte said the entrails of a chicken had shown her that "the forces of darkness" were responsible for the fake posters.

Asked if the forces of darkness were the same as the "swart gevaar", Duarte explained that they were completely different.

"The swart gevaar was a non-specific threat, summoned up by a totalitarian nationalist regime to frighten its electorate and give it license to make outrageous political comments.

"I can't tell you exactly what the forces of darkness are but they are very dangerous and they are hell-bent on taking away your RDP house, and if the ANC doesn't crush them they could make you all sex slaves."

She said that South Africa was a constitutional democracy in which freedom of speech was guaranteed.

"But obviously once people start saying stuff that we don't like to hear, we need to come down on them like a ton of freaking bricks," she added.

Meanwhile motorists said they had not noticed the posters, as they simply assumed all ANC posters were fake.

"I saw this 'Together we can do more' thing about a month ago," said Randall Fielies, a knee-wrencher's apprentice from Brakpan. "I thought it was kak joke."

Eunice Nyamende from Soweto agreed. "The ANC is very good at some things, like handing out T-shirts and making committees to make committees, but they must leave the jokes to the funny people."

Asked about the slogan, Duarte conceded that it was "a little weak", but said it had been a vast improvement on the original options.

"We had four options: 'Vote ANC or Julius Malema will kill you', 'Vote ANC and you'll get a free house, no, really, this time you really will, this election is different', 'Vote ANC because you always do', and 'By ourselves we've done f***all'."

She said the first three had been considered too subtle.

"So we adapted 'By ourselves we've done f***all' and came up with 'Together we can do more'.

"We feel it really says everything we need to say."

Link - http://www.hayibo.com/