Zuma rejects non-Afrikaans whites but their tax is good enough

After hailing Afrikaners as the only true white South Africans, Jacob Zuma has explained to English-speaking whites that while they are not true citizens, their tax revenue is more than welcome to keep paying governmental salaries. However he urged them not be disheartened, saying that there was always a chance of "cracking the citizenship nod".

Zuma was widely quoted in the national media as saying that of all the white groups in South Africa only the Afrikaners were "truly South African" as they didn't carry two passports and were "here to stay".

The statements were hailed by the 250,000 Afrikaners permanently living in London, who said it was lovely to know that they were wanted back home.

Asked if they would be returning any time soon to live on a single passport as true South Africans, they laughed until Pimms came out of their nose.

Meanwhile millions of white English-speaking South Africans who have only one passport have expressed concern about what to do with their tax revenue next year.

"If we're not South African then why are we paying tax in South Africa?" asked piano tuner Barry Bleach-Fey, echoing the sentiments of millions of others.

But this morning Zuma reassured non-Afrikaner whites that while they were effectively squatters in South Africa, their tax Rands were still legal tender and were a crucial part of the machinery of government.

"Without the tax of you seventh-generation foreigners, government could not undertake major projects such as working out who is a real South African and who is a squatter," explained Zuma.

He said the research was being conducted by the ANC's Science Brigade and was "highly complex" as it brought together the cutting-edge disciplines of racial profiling, cultural stereotyping, and inflammatory rhetoric.

However, he urged English-speaking whites not to abandon hope, saying that if they worked hard enough and paid enough tax there was still a chance that they could "crack the nod as genuine South Africans, or least only slightly less genuine than black South Africans".

"We'll let you know in about five years," said Zuma. "Just before the next election, depending on how much the ANC needs the cash."

Source - www.hayibo.com Zuma rejects non-Afrikaans whites but their tax is good enough