The ANC (think: Alcoholics, Nepotism, Cronies) Cabinet is all about "A better life for all". More particularly, a better life for all those who happen to be sitting in Parliament...
The Cabinet is littered with underperforming ministers who have been in office for over four years and each year they fail to pull up their socks.
As the government is obviously oblivious to these inadequacies, here is a list of the worst ministers to help point them in the right direction.
These ministers have failed to do their jobs and should be 'recalled' from office.
Lulu Xingwana
Position: Minister of Agriculture and Land Affairs
In power since: 2004
Previously: Deputy Minister of Minerals and Energy
Struggle cred: Member of UDF
Connections: None
Education: Bachelor of Science, Diploma of Econ Principles, Diploma of Rural Development
Reason for recall: Staff favouritism and fiddling the numbers
Xingwana made headlines in March last year when she was accused of breaking up a marriage after she allegedly had an affair with one of her senior officials Phil Mohlahlane. The wife of the official wanted R100 000 in damages, but Xingwana denied the allegations. It is alleged that Xingwana protected Mohlahlane from the consequences of acts of misconduct which he committed at work and she gave him "undue privileges" including overseas trips and "positions of undue power".
Xingwana was accused in July of meddling with the running of the Land Bank. She fired the Land Bank's chairperson Themba Langa who was believed to have been working hard to turn the bank around following a series of scandals relating to the misappropriation of funds. Langa was dismissed for disregarding a collective decision of the board and because of "unilateral decision making".
She also squashed findings of forensic audits into the irregularities at the bank. Following all these shenanigans, Xingwana was removed from the business affairs of the Land Bank and Trevor Manuel took over. But she still runs the Department of Agriculture.
Charles Nqakula
Position: Defence Minister
In power since: 2002
Previously: Minister of Safety and Security
Struggle cred: Exiled from 1976 to 1981, underground operative for the ANC, member of Umkhonto weSizwe (MK)
Connections: Married to Nosiviwe Mapisa-Nqakula (Home Affairs)
Education: Matric
Reason for recall: Promoting emigration
As Minister of Safety and Security (up until October 2008) Charles Nqakula's job was to protect the citizens of South Africa. Instead of doing that he became fed up and told those who were "whining" about high crime levels to just go to Australia. Many people took offence to his statement because, as tax payers and voters they have every right to complain when they are dissatisfied. His comments were highly insensitive to the victims of crime.
Nqakula refused to step down when he came under fire as the rate of violent crime increased. In 2007-2008 house robberies increased by 13.5 percent. Robberies at business premises rocketed by 47.4 percent and truck hijackings went up by 39.6 percent.
When President Kgalema Motlanthe came into power he removed Nqakula from the portfolio of safety and security and appointed him as the defence minister. Luckily, South Africans have spread so far and wide, that an attack on our country (from the outside, at any rate) doesn't seem imminent.
Nosiviwe Mapisa-Nqakula
Position: Home Affairs Minister
In power since: 2004
Previously: Deputy Minister of Home Affairs
Struggle cred: Activist (political military structures)
Connections: Married to Charles Nqakula (Defence)
Education: Diploma in Project Management, Diploma in Primary Teaching
Reason for recall: Making it harder for South Africans to travel
Home Affairs has to be the worst department ever. If they are not taking the whole year to issue an identity document (yes, one), they are failing refugees. Thousands of refugees have been sleeping outside the Lindela offices due to Mapisa-Nqakula's department's incompetence.
South Africans are now required to obtain a visa in order to visit the UK. This is because there were concerns from the UK that South Africa was being used as a transit point by al-Qaeda representatives to gain entry into that country. Fraudulent South African passports were confiscated during anti-terror raids.
Home Affairs was warned six months ago to improve their passport security system or face new visa requirements, as usual the department did nothing. As a result, South Africans are now required to obtain visas to visit the UK. The move will affect 420 000 South Africans who enter Britain every year.
Naledi Pandor
Position: Education Minister
In power since: 2004
Previously: Chancellor at Cape Technikon
Struggle cred: Exiled
Connections: None
Education: Bachelor of Arts, Master of Arts, Certificate in Education, Certificate of Civil Engineering
Reason for recall: More than 200 000 students failed matric in 2008
Naledi Pandor's department is chaotic. Since Pandor took office, the matric results have declined every year. In 2005 the pass rate declined to 68.3 percent compared to 70.7 percent the previous year. Things went from bad to worse, in 2006 the pass rate dropped to 66.5 percent and it has been declining ever since, last year's pass rate was just 62.5 percent.
To make matters worse the department failed to release the 2008 matric results in time and many students could not register for higher learning as they were left in limbo.
OBE has not done well, although, admittedly, you cannot judge an education system on its first year. The level of literacy in this country is very low despite the huge amounts of money that the government keeps on pumping into the department.
The level of violence in schools is alarming. Learners are frequently shot or stabbed on school premises. According to Centre of Justice and Crime Prevention 40 percent of educators do not feel safe in their schools while teaching. They also revealed that 20 percent of students were victims of some form of violence inside their schools.
Fair enough, she isn't her department, but Pandor is responsible for running the department. That makes her accountable. Poor leadership and an inability to realise a vision for the department is reason enough to 'recall' her.
Manto Tshabalala-Msimang
Position: Minister in the Presidency
In power since: 1999
Previously: Health Minister
Struggle cred: Responsible for the health and well-being of ANC militants whilst in exile
Connections: Married to Mendi Msimang (former ANC treasurer)
Education: Bachelor of Arts, Master of Public Health, MD, Diploma in Obstetrics and Gynaecology
Reason for recall: She's Manto
When she was the Health Minister Manto Tshabalala-Msimang failed her department dismally — if it were up to her, all the HIV positive people would be stuffing themselves with beetroot, garlic and the African potato. The 'Beetroot minister' promoted vegetables over ARVs.
There were calls for her to step down over incompetency, which she (and her buddy Thabo) ignored completely. In 2007 Msimang received a liver transplant and it was revealed that chronic alcoholism was the real reason why she needed a new liver.
It also emerged that in the 70s she was convicted of theft at an Athlone Hospital in Botswana. She was found guilty of stealing a patient's watch, hospital blankets, linen and heaters.
When President Kgalema Motlanthe took over from Thabo Mbeki (who was accused of protecting Msimang) he did the noble thing by removing her. She was appointed as the Minister in the Presidency. We are still trying to figure out what exactly the Minister of the Presidency does. President Motlanthe recently said: "The ANC never gives up on anyone." That may just explain the Manto phenomenon.
So what do we have to look forward to in Jacob Zuma's Cabinet? Schabir Shaik for finance? Winnie Madikizela-Mandela for Social Welfare? Carl Niehaus for the Communication Department? And Julius Malema for... well... pretty much everything else.
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