Nazi Germany had propaganda waxed; communist Russia was right up there; and while the Americans like to call it patriotism, we all know that it's really just propaganda.
Cosatu, hoping to emulate all of the above (except the US, of course, because it is an evil capitalist empire), has produced three million copies of a maroon (yes folks, that's maroon) booklet entitled: 'Defend our Movement: Advance the Gains of Polokwane! Expose and Isolate the Black DA'.
Wow. That really is a masterpiece. A little unwieldy perhaps for a pamphlet title, but how would you instil fear, blind loyalty, hatred and intolerance in 14 words? Not to mention that stinging and carefully-crafted insult...
TRANSLATING COSATU-ISMS
A lot can be learnt from that little maroon booklet. If nothing else, vocabulary.
"Their (Cope's) role is to dislodge a progressive ruling party that has the support of the majority and impose the agenda of international capital and its local allies.
"It's no accident that almost all the dissident leaders, including former trade unionists, are now wealthy business people.
"The very people who, with their capitalist allies, are now mobilising for the dissidents were the most enthusiastic promoters of the pro-capitalist policies that caused all these problems.
"They know however that to win support they cannot openly proclaim support for a blatant pro-capitalist project. So they seek demagogically to exploit whatever social grievances they can find among the people, grievances that result from the very policies they imposed while they were in government."
Let me translate: We are scared Cope may get enough votes to reduce our power. We have to say something bad about the guys we used to follow (the fact that there are still many far more wealthy people in the ANC can be overlooked if you throw in the word 'dissident'). Capitalism is the reason that you are poor. Cope is made up of a bunch of liars who will do anything to trick and exploit you.
Luckily Cosatu is all about helping the workers see things clearly.
"The launch (of Cope) poses a big challenge to workers and the national liberation movement. It could confuse and divide voters, cause enough damage to reduce the ANC majority in Parliament."
So, just to clarify — the workers are going to be confused by the launch of a new political party, but not be the word 'demagogically'. Right.
I, for one, am a little confused by the ramblings of Cosatu spokesperson Patrick Craven. On the one hand he says:
"What they were fighting for in the ANC is now what they are fighting against in Cope... They even went to the extent of borrowing portions of the ANC manifesto to woo voters."
Then, on the other hand, he says:
"Cope represents the BEE millionaires, whereas the DA represents the white millionaires, but they are both united in their defence of big business."
Erm... so they borrowed portions of the ANC manifesto to prove that they are pro-big business?
A PRESIDENTIAL AFFAIR
Slightly less confusing (but only just) are the rumours of President Motlanthe's simultaneous affairs with two women, one of whom is 24, pregnant and works at Luthuli House.
If true, these rumours raise many questions, the most pressing (and least graphic) of which are: how are we only finding out about this now? And (perhaps just as importantly) why are we finding out about this now?
It doesn't matter, insists the ANC's Lindiwe Zulu, because the president's private life is his own business.
"President Motlanthe's life, like everyone else's, remains his private life and that we cannot make a statement on his private life at the moment. He is the only person that can be able to deal with his private life."
Um... no. When you become the president of a country, you lose the right to impregnate young women working for you without public scrutiny. Just ask Bill.
DEGREES OF CRIMINALITY
As electioneering gets underway, the ANC has come under some attack from opposition parties for their inability to fight crime.
"Crime is a clear example of the huge gap between what is said and what is done (in the ANC)... We thought we saw the bottom of how bad the failure to manage crime could be but nothing could prepare us for the spectacle of incrimination of the head of police, the persecution of the head of the National Prosecuting Authority and the constant attack on judges and the judiciary." — IFP leader Mangosuthu Buthelezi.
"Can we trust them to be custodians of the judiciary, when they attack judges? Can we trust them to fight crime when their leaders are dodging their day in court?" — UDM leader Bantu Holomisa.
In other news, the ANC is seriously considering putting Winnie Madikizela-Mandela forward as a parliamentary candidate.
"I have to look at it carefully, but the way I see it she would qualify (to become an MP). She did not go to jail," said Carl Niehaus.
No, but she should have. She was convicted and sentenced — twice, for unrelated crimes.
LOST IN TRANSLATION
Tokyo Sexwale needs a translator or, at the very least, a good PR agent. Using the word 'witchcraft' at a public rally is never really a good idea. Speaking out against Cope, Sexwale reportedly said:
"Our mothers are taken, house to house, they are also parade on TV, these people are performing witchcraft with our mothers... They are liars. You can't have respect for people who use older people in that fashion."
Unfortunately, you also can't have respect for people who use the word 'witchcraft' in a political argument. Why did Bush invade Iraq? Witchcraft. Why did Mugabe destroy Zimbabwe? Witchcraft. Why did Obama win the election? Witchcraft.
He has, of course, subsequently offered an explanation.
"We speak rich African languages, mine, Sepedi, Sesotho, Sexhosa. And there will always be the danger... (to try) to make political capital, to reduce very rich expressions said in African languages to a kind of kitchen English.
Give it a shot. English does, after all, have the largest vocabulary in the world.
Completely untranslatable and incomprehensible is Julius Malema. No number of translators and public relation geniuses can turn this one around.
"When a woman didn't enjoy it, she leaves early in the morning. Those who had a nice time will wait until the sun comes out, request breakfast and taxi money. In the morning, that lady requested breakfast and taxi money. You can't ask for money from somebody who raped you," said Malema about Jacob Zuma's rape accuser.
Words fail me.
0 comments:
Post a Comment