The ANC Jailbird Club

Here's a random fact: if you re-arrange the letters of acronym ANC, you get the word CAN. Now, it just so happens that the word 'can', whilst on the one hand indicating that it is possible for something to be done, is also slang for 'prison'.

Coincidence? I think not.

Yip, the ANC boasts an impressive jailbird club and the members who joined after 1994 are far from honourable.

Luckily — for those who compulsively stick their fingers into other people's cookie jars — the members of the ANC don't seem to be too hung up on antiquated notions like honour. In fact, possession of a criminal record goes a considerable way to securing a spot on the organisation's top decision-making body.

Unfortunately (for the rest of us), these are generally the chaps who are entrusted with running the country. Ah, but wait (I hear you cry), surely you can't sit in Parliament if you have a criminal record?

Well… that depends.

Yes folks, South African legislation is all about grey areas. If you are naughty enough to get yourself into prison (or at least in theory) for 12 months without the option of a fine, then you are out of the running… for a while. But, if you wait it out for five years after completing your sentence, absolution. Regardless of the crime.

While this faith in rehabilitation has its merits in the case of an unpaid parking fine, there is something a little disturbing about the prospect of someone found guilty of fraud or corruption whilst serving in Parliament being allowed back into Parliament simply because time has continued its natural and inevitable progression.

So, while fraudsters like Tony Yengeni and Winnie Madikizela-Manela may be out of the running for this year's election, there is nothing to stop them next time around. Perhaps even more disturbing is the overwhelming likelihood that they will, once again, be nominated.

We take a look at the current big-shots in the ANC's jailbird club.

WINNIE MADIKIZELA-MANDELA

Occupation: former ANC Women's League president.
Crime: charged in 1991 with the kidnapping and murder of 14-year-old Stompie Seipei.
Sentence: six years imprisonment, which was reduced to a R15 000 fine on appeal.
Crime: found guilty in 2003 on 43 counts of fraud and 25 counts of theft.
Sentence: five years imprisonment, which was reduced to three-and-a-half years on appeal (2004) and suspended for five years.
Eligible for Parliament: Well, that depends. The Constitution doesn't say anything about suspended sentences. If a suspended sentence of the same length carries the same weight as "more than 12 months imprisonment without the option of a fine", then Winnie is eligible for Parliament in 2012. If, however, the emphasis is on the word 'imprisonment', then she has no restrictions.

TONY YENGENI

Occupation: former ANC chief whip.
Crime: found guilty of fraud in 2006 (failing to declare a discount on his Mercedes-Benz to Parliament).
Sentence: four years imprisonment.
Served: 20 weeks.
Eligible for Parliament: 2015

BATHABILE DLAMINI

Occupation: former secretary general of the ANC Women's League.
Crime: a Travelgate fraudster who pleaded guilty in 2006.
Sentence: a five-year suspended sentence and fined R120 000 payable over 24 months.
Eligible for Parliament: 2016 (if suspended sentences apply) or 2009 (if they don't).

ENOCH GODONGWANA

Occupation: former finance MEC in the Eastern Cape.
Crime: convicted of drunk driving in 2003 (he was two times over the legal limit).
Sentence: fined R8000 or 200 days in jail and given a suspended three-year sentence.
Eligible for Parliament: 2009

RUTH BHENGU

Occupation: former MP, president of the SA National Civics Organisation.
Crime: Travelgate fraudster who pleaded guilty and was dismissed from Parliament in 2005
Sentence: two years imprisonment or a R45 000 fine and a three-year suspended sentence.
Eligibility for Parliament: 2009

NDLELENI DUMA

Occupation: Agriculture MEC in the North West.
Crime: Travelgate fraudster
Sentence: fine of R30 000 or three years imprisonment.
Eligible for Parliament: 2009

OUPA MONARENG

Occupation: MP and deputy chairperson of the Gauteng branch of the ANC.
Crime: convicted of trying to bribe four police officers in 1996, after being caught driving a stolen vehicle.
Sentence: fined R3000 and given an 18-month suspended sentence.
Eligible for Parliament: 2009

SCHABIR SHAIK

Occupation: inmate.
Crime: found guilty in 2005 of fraud and corruption.
Sentence: 15 years imprisonment (starting in 2006 following failed appeals).
Eligible for Parliament: 2026

While this not-so-exclusive club is already looking pretty full, there are others vying for jailbird status. These include: ANC president Jacob Zuma, suspended police commissioner Jackie Selebi, former Ekhurhuleni police chief Robert McBride, KwaZulu-Natal Health MEC Peggy Nkonyeni and ANC Chief Whip in Parliament Mnyamezeli Booi.

It's a good thing, really, that the ANC has promised to come down hard on criminals. However, for opposition politicians not quite convinced that the criminals in Parliament will do more than hand out suspended sentences to the criminals on the street, there is hope in another oft-overlooked clause in the Constitution.

"Every citizen who is qualified to vote for the National Assembly is eligible to be a member of the Assembly, except unrehabilitated insolvents."

Yes folks, it means those who — like the current president of the ANC — have some trouble keeping their bank balance in the black.