AU elects Gadaffi as head, gives him ceremonial flywhisk, aviator sunglasses

Libya's Muammar Gadaffi has been elected head of the African Union and has vowed to create a single unified political entity called "Libya", stretching from Tripoli on the Nile to Tripoli at the Cape. Amid rapturous applause from AU heads of state, Gadaffi was handed his ceremonial flywhisk and aviator sunglasses, both symbols of African power.

ADDIS ABABA. Libya's Muammar Gadaffi has been elected head of the African Union and has vowed to create a single unified political entity called "Libya", stretching from Tripoli on the Nile to Tripoli at the Cape. Amid rapturous applause from AU heads of state, Gadaffi was handed his ceremonial flywhisk and aviator sunglasses, both symbols of African power.

The African Union elected the controversial Libyan colonel at its latest session in Addis Ababa, where it has gathered to discussed the outcome of a previous meeting where it had been decided to meet again to discuss whether the official buffet should include sausage rolls as well as spicy chicken wings.

If consensus is reached it will be the latest in a series of bold decisions taken by the AU.

"The AU is about action," said spokesman Prester John Mawiri. "For example, just last month we decided to install a suggestion box inside Harare's central prison where MDC members can rate the torture they are receiving and suggest alternative methods."

He added that the AU had also recently reaffirmed its stance on the lowland gorillas of central Africa, and had agreed that the animals needed to be moved to a place of safety such as a Las Vegas zoo "which could be arranged for a small cash payment to the AU".

However he said that Gadaffi's leadership would probably shift the AU's priorities away from its humanitarian and environmental work and "more towards science".

"I know the Colonel is very keen for Africa to develop a space programme," said Mawiri, alluding to Libya's space programme that reportedly involves a man stapled to a weather balloon.

"The Colonel tells me that his Afronaut has not yet been able to see space but expects it any day now, once he disentangles himself from the palm trees in front of the space centre."

Asked if the AU has a plan to alleviate Africa's crippling poverty, Mawiri said that this was at the top of the agenda and that a plan was in place.

"Europe and America must give us money," he said. "In unmarked dollar bills. In Samsonite luggage. They can just leave it at reception and we'll make sure the needy get it."

Meanwhile Gadaffi told AU members he was humbled to accept the flywhisk and aviator shades of leadership, and vowed to get to work at once, starting by sitting for a sculpture of himself wrestling a pair of lions to death.