The Umkhonto we Sizwe Veterans Association has threatened to march against ATMs, toy shops stocking Monopoly, and the counterrevolutionary market indicators on the television news if the economy does not apologise for slipping into recession and reverse its slide. "The economy has gone racist," said a spokesman. "It must be crushed."
South Africa's economy officially slipped into recession on Wednesday after Charlize Theron failed to send her monthly remittance cheque of $1,000 to her family in Benoni, choosing instead to spend the money on a pony.
This morning the Umkhonto we Sizwe Veterans Association attacked the economy for what it described as a counterrevolutionary and racist act.
The Veterans Association, which represents veterans of South Africa's liberation struggle, said it did not hold the pass at Thermopylae, charge the Russian canons at Balaclava or assassinate Hitler so that its members could be abused by a "rabid stock exchange and a racist currency".
"Democracy is in danger," explained MKVA spokesman Field Marshal Caligula Ngonyama, saying that by "democracy" he meant Jacob Zuma's pension.
He said "gigantic battalions of awesome military might", comprising 37 men who may or may not have been members of MK, plus another dozen who would be offered coffee and a rusk for joining the march, would occupy key economic installations.
"These include ATMs, which is where all money comes from, as well as any shop selling the board game Monopoly," he said.
He said it was also unacceptable that the economy flaunted its decline on the news every night, and said the MKVA would "crush" the nightly economic indicators.
"Last week one of our cadres threw a brick through his television to crush the economic indicators, but the next night they came back on his neighbour's television," said Ngonyama.
"This suggests that the market indicators do not live in the television per se but are actually mobilized from a central camp or headquarters, and this is where we will strike."
He said once the Veterans had worked out how numbers got into televisions they would triangulate their origin, identify the racist and counterrevolutionary headquarters, and then throw a brick at it.
http://www.hayibo.com/
0 comments:
Post a Comment